My+Fear+Place+Journal+-+25

__**The Fear Place Chapters 1-3/p.1-21**__

Dear Journal, Hi I'm Doug and Today we went on a plane and of course my older brother Gordan ran to the window seat so I got stuck next to a kid named Ronnie Beck and a camera freak taking pictures every where but i have to admit the veiw was phenomenal I started to talk to Ronnie again he said how he was alone on the plane cause his parents are divorced and that he was going to his dad in Denver. Finally we got to the first stop in Denver and I said bye to Ronnie leaving with his dads arm around this shoulders and Ronnie's suitcase in between them. Then Doug, Mom ,Dad and I Drove to Estes Park and spent the rest of the day making purchases for the next 3 weeks we would have food water and etc. Finally we left and the 3 weeks started we set up camp and dad wanted the whole family to go hiking and so we filled our canteens some thing that holds water packed some food and trail mix and went off. we saw the narrowest ledge ever and we walked it slowly I was behind Mom and Gordie was in the front leading the way. We got to the end and the view was a little high ok way high. We finally were heading back down but I froze I couldn't move when i finally did we started to move though half way though and I pucked and Gordon s eyes danced with laughter I felt like a fool and Dad was all you know the best thing to do when that happens is to do it again Show your self who's boss I drank some water from my canteen and said nothing Mom started saying how she was afraid of water and what not I was certain that that the worst was over not just for now but forever I will never go up there again!

- Doug


 * __The Fear Place__** __**4-6/p.22-40**__

Dear Journal, Hi its me again and today i asked mom a question, a question i haven't ever asked her before Mom was cleaning and I was picking up scraps while dad and Gordan went to refill the water jugs again why don't we never visit uncle Lloyd cause like really we only saw him a few times at "Fun" family reunions Mom said he was smart and he knew it and that he never missed being on honor roll or a track star not even a basket ball player cause everything my Grandpa (moms dad) wanted him to be he was then Mom stopped like that was it confusing yes i wanted to hear more so i implored mom to talk and she said he never empowered her to have her moment of glory no matter what she accomplished Lloyd would make the better of it mom said maybe it was her dads fault for pitting them against each other i remember asking her why shes not going to visit Lloyd before he dies i guess i standard correctly cause mom said she did last month in Boston i thought she was visiting her sister but she was also visiting Lloyd i guess. Anyway at mealtime the conversation was mostly about how the past 4 summers my parents had been monitoring the water and soil in the rugged northeast corner of Rocky Mountain National Park to see the effect of acid rain might be having in streams lakes and etc. when our parents have to leave they pack all there things on a horse and the ranger would see that sometimes Gordan and i stayed back and sometimes we went with our parents. Dear journal, four days have passed and dad called gordon and i one evening we went down with dad to a slope toward the stream walking beside him instead of walking in front of him or behind the way we were taught dad followed on passed the beaver lodge to a low area we called the watering hole we saw thin tracks not a deer or bear cause I know bear tracks But a Mountain loin really i guessed a cougar. Doug got me mad so i decided to tell him now It was historical so I told him you know those envelopes you mailed for mom you know those stamps you promised to put on you know you were complaining that they were all stuck together Well I sprinkled pee on them and let them dry. Gordan talked me and I yelled and laughed just that thought of Gordan liking those peed stamps was worth it. Mom was then furious she had some bad language witch she doesn't have a lot. i waited until Gordan walked outside and I tore a page out of my notebook and wrote **Gordan licks pee** I laid it on his sleeping bag. i watched Gordan walk to the national forest the next day i knew he liked the outdoors and that he likes to sleep alone only if he had too but scout camp out outs were his favorite cause he liked lying in an open tent while mosquitoes tried to find his face he also liked cramming with a bunch of boys and seeing who could fart the loudest. for me i think camp outs are ok but i like working on my merit badges for scouts to you know show my work. dad used to say there is something for each of you. so Gordan goes up to the Fear Place once or twice in the summer To tell you the truth I lik it better when hes gone cause like there are no stupid things going around. i gave my self a task my task was to go high in the meadow so i could see animals and they couldn't see me maybe even get some photos i remember searching for the perfectly spot and just at the edge of the meadow it was a large rock that I could sit on hidden completly from view. I brought some snacks to eat.But i only saw birds and then I saw a giant eagle soaring though the sky and i heard a fearful cry as the eagle swoop up a jackrabbit that was the sweetest thing I ever saw then I thought what if the eagles nest was by the Fear place with Gordan.When Gordan came back the next day he was talking about how cool it was to be up there then he said you should go up with me I quickly repied I will when im good and ready. He of course was like Yeah like never. the next day the Ranger came and handed a note to dad who passed it on to mom and it was so quiet you could hear the bugs flying around.the ranger handed us a large brown grocery and he said I though id bring a little cheer along the bad news. Early the next morning I watched my parents packing for Boston It wasn't until i heard my blue dress back in the car I realized they were preparing for Uncle Lloyd s funeral. i heard mom sobbing when I went to take the water jugs to fill them up. i was waiting for my parents to leave for the trip to Denver and then to Boston. I overheard my mom say do you think its all right to leave the boys here? we've left them over night before why not. They came out and I saw mom put on her backpack then i knew i should say something but what so I ended up saying sorry about uncle Lloyd mom and gave her a hug thats all I could do. so am I said mom and they left tell us to be careful all the parent needs. the next morning Gordan and I ate like pigs and it seemed like nothing in the world would fill us up them Gordan had to and say Doug you should clean the trash its starting to stink in here newsflash Gordan I did it yesterday I got so mad I kicked the log Gordan was sitting on he jerked his head I knew that when our parents left I would get stuck with all the work and I did. SO I picked up the trash and hit Gordan with it on his chest leaving a big messy bunch on his lap then i felt like i had let my parents down by getting in a fight and so i feel bad.Gordan also left with almost all the food.He headed to Comanche Peak Wilderness. he better come back soon

-Doug

hey its me Doug again I thought the reason Gordan didn't take the all food was because he couln't carry it all but then I thought well he took all the food you can eat with out a stove.well at least I would have a night to myself with peace and quiet. um well the fight i had last week about who's turn it was to take it out well i guess Gordan was right cause it was my turn to clean up I really feel like a big fat fool. anyway it was the first time i ever camped alone so to pass the time I went in the high meadow to get photos of animals and other things. so I traveled to the meadow by climbing rocks and stepping on and over stuff so to make it short i walked a though a lot of things. When I walked to my destination I went to my spot and I only saw some small animals so i headed back to camp.It was 6:30 I had a feeling someone or something was following me. I remember hearing a twig snap and I thought it's Gordan trying to scare my i know it.Then I waled more to make it seem to Gordan that I didn't know he was following me then I saw it a blur at the corner of my eye It was a cougar. I was scared as heck I knew to not panic cause then the cougar will think of pray so I moved a few steps slowly with pace. I had to pee so bad too witch made it even worse after 3 minutes of walking I wasn't dead i was still a live a sigh of relief came from me i thought maybe i was good and safe but then i thought it might want open space to make the hunt easier I still waited on and the cougar did U turn right in front of me and dissapperd I sighed a louder sigh of relief i walked far enough to feel safe to pee then walked back to base camp.At dinner I didn't eat much i guess I was still kinda parallelized from the cougar thing but then I became hungry and I knew I shouldn't eat much for when the family comes back.I went to sleep that night dreaming about a cougar it was so cool.it was an and off night but when i was awake I remembered this story about a lady with a cougar and she that cougars barely ever attack so I thought that was a good chance of surviving. so i took the chance and went up to the meadow to see if i could catch the beast on tape or in a picture and the cougar wasn't there so I decided to go back in the evening I ate dinner quick and early to go to the meadows again i walking when the cougar came out and followed me again so i walked a bit with no eye contact yet and the cougar was gone so sat on a rock and saw the cougar about 20 yards back And i got a picture of it I can't wait to see my family's impression i walked backed to camp and the cougar dissaperd again its kinda weird that the cougar dissapears after a bit I quest she gets bored with me. Have to wait till tomorrow ~Doug
 * __The Fear place 7-8 pg. 41-56__**


 * __The Fear Place 9pg. 57-65__**

Dear Journal,

it's me Doug and today I really thought about Gordan cause like what if the cougar is gone by the time he gets back. okay so i went to the high meadow and I have to admit I don't know my flowers but I do know my trees anyway i went to my spot from before and When I was sitting there I saw a squirrel looking like it was running for its life and then a marten jumped out of nowhere pinning the squirrel to the ground it was killing it with the base of the skull it was the coolest i ever saw but really gross at the same time. when I went back to camp I thought Gordan should be here any minute I thought to pass the time I would fill the water jugs but that did not go so well the cougar was back and standing at the head of the trail I kinda just went Hi Charlie and grinned like a person would do to be nice and kept on walking to the stream that cougar was so close i could feel him breath on my ankles i walked a bit and the cougar walked back a bit and laid down then i realized it was a female the not by looking back but by the feel I talked a bit to the cougar and it yawned that was rude but then again its a cougar what do you expect the thing is i am really starting to like this cougar its not violent but calm and genital I went back to camp and had some dinner it was pretty dark and i was getting sleepy so I said good night to Charlie and headed of to bed thinking Gordan mom & dad will be here tomorrow I know it! I hope they are cause like really its hard to be alone not much to do well I'm gonna get back to digging in the sand to pass the time so see tomorrow. - Doug

__**T****he fear Place 10 pg. 65- 72**__

dear Journal, I thought I herd Gordon come in the tent in the middle of the night but I fell asleep and when I woke up again I turned on my flash light and he wasn't there so I thought he might of gone to my parents room cause he was probaly still mad at me,but when I went to find him he wan't there ether so I thought it might just be thinking and seeing things. So I thought to pass the time i could go and dump out the dish water and then Charlie bumped in to me and almost made my fall then charlie rubbed against my thigh. i went to the water hole to see if Charlie would follow and charlie did I was surprised but i shoundnt be cause she likes me and I like her So I went back to camp to see if Gordon had come back and I didn't relize Charlie left but she did. gordon was still gone and so I waited, had some lunch but at 2:30 the sky darkend and it rained and hailed i thought hat if mom and dad are in this mess oh what if Goron is. The rained stopped and it w:as about 7:00 I called Charlie but did not see her.So I started to worry about my family and charlie hopfully they will be here tomorrow -Doug

hey its me Doug again and last night I had the same dream about Gordan but this one was different he was being torn to pieces anyway I woke up at 4:20 and thought about seeing a ranger but it takes as long as it take to get to the fear place so I decided not to.I wasn't in the mood for food but ate anyway.I decided to go to try to find Gordan so I grabbed some stuff just in case wrote a note to my parents and headed off I was walking all over and I felt a present of something and Charlie was there but his paws and jaws were bloody I was afraid That Gordan Had been eaten up but then I saw that a marten was laying dead so I was way overjoyed.It was till 10:00 that was was face to face with the fear place and Thought it would most likely be a 2 hour trip so i took a sip of water and stared to climb. ~Doug
 * __The Fear place 11 pg. 72 -78__**

Dear journal, I surprised cause I felt better climbing.remember I said I will never go up there again well scratch that cause I am but only for Gordan and after words he will was a booze some where in his body.Anyway I kept walking higher and higher up boulders and many one things and then I felt a thud against my thigh I was so scared but It was just Charlie it then seemed that he was leading the way to the top. The path kept getting smaller and smaller it was pretty hared to walk after awhile but I managed though it and I finally was there it was the fear place. ~Doug
 * __The Fear place 12 pg.79-87__**

hey its me Doug and we finally made it to the fear place it was so cool from up there you could smell the moist air but when I looked down i was freaking out it was way easier to get up then down plus it ended up we where actually 9 yards down so Charlie had to show me down and the path was getting smaller much worse was when we where at the curve and I had to still climb around bend and when I got passed that I was walking on the path and I was face to face with the cougar and I saw her eyes she backed away so I could get by and the path got wider so that was a relief a few minutes passed and I saw it Gordan's tent a hamok his hiking boots and of course a waterfall but Gordan wasn't there. -Doug
 * __The Fear place 13 pg. 87-94__**

Dear Journal, I finally saw Gordon and his canteen was empty and he was asleep I moved his leg a bit and he yelled so then I knew something was broken he looked like that squirrel he had fear in his eyes just like that squirrel I asked Gordon what day he fell and he couldn't remember so that was no help at all.I looked at his leg it was wounded and covered in blood so I cut part of his jeans so half of his leg was showing I decided to carry Gordon down the Fear place cause who knows when our parents will come I poured some peroxide on his leg and told Gordon about Charlie and how we met Gordon had some buiesness to do then so I went and sat with my feet in the falls I saw Charlies tail go 100 miles an hour and he was lowering his back and killed a pika. Gordon was in shock that didn't surprise me cause he's new to the cougar I picked up Gordon and that was hard I went over to the edge and Fear went every where I felt like pucking. -Doug
 * __The Fear place 14 pg.94-102__**

__**The Fear Place 15 pg. 102-118**__ Dear Journal, I was carrying Gordon down the fear place I was thinking about how the boy scout book said if a wound is not treated in about 2 days he could possibly die.Charlie went up and smelled Gordon's wound witch Gordan found creepy and started jumping on my back like ten monkeys jumping on the bed. We kept walking and I started to get really tired we went to a bolder and Gordon climbed of my back to rest a little.When I was ready he wanted me to go with out him then in a blink of an eye we started fighting and I thought about how grandpas was pitting mom and uncle Lloyd against each other and that made think is that gonna happen to Doug and I so I stopped the fight I see myself not seeing my brother when I was older So I admitted that he was right it was my turn to take the trash out and we where even.We started to walk again and we heard a clop clop while we where resting and saw the ranger we yelled our thoarts dry but it was an absolute miracle the ranger and his horse came up and he looked at Gordon's leg and asked me if I wrote the note to mom and dad and I thought that was what got him here if I didn't he would be looking every where for us.The ranger asked how we got so far and Gordon said i carried him so we both got a ride on the horse.The ranger saw Charlie and said ok boys looks like he followed you down the mountain and i said Its a she and her name is Charlie I will never in my life forget this moment how I was alone the huge storm helping my brother but mostly I wont forget the wonderful Cougar named Charlie. - Doug